Honestly, in a country like India, where people (a.k.a crazy insane weirdos) have, in the past, committed suicide when Sachin Tendulkar got out, it’s pretty hard to believe that we Indians would give a damn about any other sport apart from cricket. It’s like an obsessive celebrity crush: we can’t get it out of our minds, and it’s the only one of its kind we have eyes on. The only time people ever get snapped out of the cricket craze is when they see how badly we do in the Olympics every year. Other countries, on the other hand, have so many different sports, it seems like they’ve gone through the whole list and have nothing left to conquer. So when that happens, people have to get creative. Here are some of the weirdest sports you won’t believe this world has to offer!
The High Heels Drag Queen Race
We’ve seen the best of drag queen fashion and dance moves on shows like RuPaul’s drag race, but have you ever witnessed them sprint across 17th street in Washington D.C in high heels? I didn’t think so. It started out as a small race with just 25 contestants, but now has a fan following of over 100,000 spectators (in 2011), becoming a nationwide and now worldwide phenomenon with similar races being held in London and Madrid.
Believe me, when I read the words “the sport of Cheese Rolling”, I assumed that it probably a bunch of high teenagers trying to toll grill cheeses into the shape of a joint. But honestly, this alternative doesn’t fall far behind from the grill cheese-level of bat-shit crazy. Cheese Rolling, or more accurately “Cooper Hill’s Cheese-Rolling and Wake” is a much-beloved tradition down in Gloucester, England where contestants chase after a 9-pound wheel of cheese down a steep hill. The winner receives the entire cheese as a prize, but if I start to describe the kind of injuries people have sustained during the competition, you’d wonder why people come in the thousands to participate in a tournament that awards the champion a grass-covered slab of lactose intolerance. In fact, 2 of the races were abandoned in 1988 due to the reporting of 33 injuries the previous year! That’s like if all the players on both sides of a single football game, including subs, were severely injured during the match. So I guess it’s safe to say this game isn’t for the cheesiest of hearts. #sorrynotsorry.
I shit you not… this is an actual thing. Originated in Finland, this nearly 30-year-old tradition involves a male contestant carrying their female counterpart (wife in most cases) through a series of obstacles and the duo with the fastest time, wins the wife’s weight in beer and three times her weight in cash! No that’s a prize worth permanently injuring your spine for! Suck it cheese rolling!
World Gurning Championships
As many can attest at Trell, I’ve been known to make some pretty hideous and downright creepy faces. But as goes for most things in my life, I recently learned that I am not even the best at that! The World Gurning Championships brings together the best of facial contorting that this world has to offer. In this competition, people battle it out to create the ugliest face they can without the use of makeup or prosthetics. It’s like a reverse beauty pageant! I mean… not the most impressive thing a person can have on their resume (unlike beauty pageants), but hey, these guys must be a real hit with babies amirite?
Well, if you’ve ever wondered what rugby would be like if the ball was replaced by a coconut, then wonder no longer. This men-only (sexists -.-) sport comes from Manipur, India and is pretty popular their with its Hindu mythological origins. Hmmm, at least it’s environmentally friendly. Mother Nature would approve.
Well. I guess whatever you need to know about this “sport” is literally in the name itself. But I’ll explain it in words: two people kick each other’s shins in a remote town in England until one person is literally brought to their knees. Fun… right? Well, their World Championship Board really thinks so. Does anyone know where I can sign Trump up?
Well, at this point, I think we’ve seen it all, from face to toe. But I guess it’s nice to break out of the cliche basketball-football-cricket circle and delve into… Cheese Rolling? Yeah, the jury’s still out on that one, but on the bright side, it’s nice to know that the world is still putting their creative minds to some use if not to solve world hunger and poverty, right? If anything though, these games show us that there are so many crazy things to do in this world and so many people with the most unique and beautiful talents. We shouldn’t underestimate the differences we have with others and instead, embrace each other for the weirdly amazing individuals we are. Sorry if this got unnecessarily deep… I’m just taking a knee for my fellow global citizens. Until next time folks 🙂